| I want to talk about infatuation. You know, the kind of infatuation where you think it's love or like...but really it's just hormones, emotions, and wild thoughts meshed together to give you an illusion.
I'll admit it, I had a lot of those. One day, one week, one month infatuations.
It's pretty amazing how much humans are capable of, and how much we undermine ourselves; as if our ultimate goal in life is to pretty much break whatever self esteem one has and to have another pick them up.
It's nothing bad really, just how it is.
While being happy, we can still feel sadness starting to overrule it. While being in love, we still have doubts to it leading into a personal insanity.
It's always good and bad now, never just good. Honestly, it's as if the only thing brings me pure bliss is eating something delightful.
THE DIARY OF A FATCHICK.
Day 1: Chicken sandwich and I felt it there today. As I sunk my teeth into the juicy, tasty patty it was as if nothing else could fulfill me.
 I bet you that's what I'm going to end up writing in the near future while being at 389 pounds.
BUT, that's not the point. We'll save my fat fantasies later in the future.
You know, I really do miss the old school love.
The kind of love where there was only love or like, never anything in between. None of the following:
benefriends, hook-ups, not together but the love is still there, or the I don't know what we are man.
It sort of makes me more sad than irritated to see what derived out of love or like. Either you don't like the person or you do, don't just start eating each other faces out acting as if there's nothing there.
THERE IS SOMETHING, just not something faithful; that's all.
I just miss it. Maybe I say this all out of my angry subconscious trying to seem like I'm neutral. Maybe, just maybe.
Either way, I'm going to do my best to just stay in a love or like relationship. |
